Receipts! Proof! Timeline! Screenshots!!!!
and the Real Housewives of Romancelandia (season 2)
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I’ve been a loyal Housewives viewer since season one of OC. Back when the cameras were blurry, the tunics were bedazzled, and Slade Smiley had only dated one housewife.
You know, simpler times.
Now there are 10 different franchises (RIP Dallas) and even more spinoffs (Kim and Kroy, Vanderpump Rules anyone???) and sometimes it feels more like true crime than anything else. I’d be lying if I said I kept up with it now the way I did in the past. There are so many franchises and shows that sometimes it feels like a full-time job watching them all! Also, and I know this might sound slightly unhinged, but when I franchise I love has a not so great season, I stop watching immediately! I don’t want it to be tainted in my brain. So this season of Potomac? Never happened. I also had to take a very long break from New Jersey because even though all of the housewives are lowkey diabolical, I still need to enjoy at least one cast member. Teresa and Melissa (DON’T COME FOR ME!!!!!) ruined it for me. Petty, table-flipping drama? Good. Family-ruining, throw-you-in-prison drama? Bad.
Right? Thank you!
While I love to watch Housewives, my desire to be one is approximately -300. The thought of being in a friend group that argues more than they laugh gives me hives. Luckily for me, I’ve landed in a group of women who are not only so talented and fun, but so supportive and giving that they are always willing to give into my ridiculous ideas… Like sending me taglines for the Real Housewives of Romancelandia!
I’m so grateful for these wonderful women taking time out of their busy schedules to give us all these AMAZING taglines! Honestly, Andy! What are you waiting for? Who wouldn’t want to watch a bunch of romance writers?
Real Housewives of Romancelandia
“I’m only single because none of the men I’ve written have walked off the page.”
Andie J. Christopher
“Just because my books are sweet doesn’t mean I can’t bring the heat.”
Sarah Adams
“You may think you control the narrative, but I’m the author of my own story.”
Falon Ballard
“I’m a doctor, of course I know what’s going to make your heart skip a beat.”
Denise Williams
“Putting the ‘lit’ in literature, I remix Jane Austin with color, because in Nikki’s world, every Black girl deserves her happy ending.”
Nikki Payne
“I write romance so hot, your partner will send me a thank you note.”
Rosie Danan
“They say hate the player, not the game, but I say f*** em’!
Alexa Martin
I don’t know about you, but I think this is going to be the best season yet! Tune in for this new season full of tropes, spice, and happily ever afters!
Bookish Things
I’m offering 25% off all of my critique services! 2024 is the first year since I started publishing that I won’t have a new release. I’m so excited about creating this year and I want to help if I can! I also started a blog that I plan to fill with some writers tricks and tips I’ve learned over the years!
Weekly Wrap-Up
Song I’m obsessing over
I’ve been a big playlist girlie lately, but there has been one song in heavier rotation than most. I started listening to Maddie and Tae when I was writing Mom Jeans and Other Mistakes and I never stopped. Their song Madness is so gorgeous and catchy, it never gets old.
Must watch TV
If you haven’t watched The Traitors on Peacock, then what are you even doing with your life!?! The second season just started airing a few weeks ago and it is the best thing ever! This season is all reality stars (though there is a boxer and a politician) and it is full of Housewives! Phaedra Parks is on it and is this a safe space? Because I know she is the worst person, but dammit if I don’t love that woman on my television. Go binge watch. You’re welcome in advance.
What I’m reading
I just started reading Tanvier Peart and it is so cute! It’s her debut novel and I was lucky enough to do an event with her and Nikki Payne to celebrate her launch. It takes place at a single’s retreat where the MC’s soon-to-be ex-husband attends!!! And it takes place in Vail! So freaking cute!
Podcast I can’t stop listening to
Turning to Story is back and better than ever! It’s the best podcast for writers and Lyssa and Anna are so generous with their knowledge. I love their focus on loving craft and the journey over results! I always leave their episodes feeling inspired and ready to write.
Cocktail of the Week
Rosé Paloma
Ingredients
Dry rosé wine (approximately 4 oz)
Grapefruit Soda (approximately 4 oz)
1/2 a lime’s juice (approximately 1/2 oz)
Directions
Combine equal parts rosé and grapefruit soda in a wine glass filled with ice.
Add a squeeze of lime juice and stir gently to combine.
Garnish with an edible flower, if desired.
Enjoy!
*I might add a little a tequilla to this if I’m feeling spicy!
I started a RHOC rewatch today and I forgot how absolutely ridiculous season 1 was!! Ahhh the good ole days 😂😂 also - those taglines are PERFECT 👏🏽
Thank you for the @turningtostory shoutout! 😘😘😘